I fell off the wagon in March.
Actually, I fell off a lot of wagons in March.
The giving wagon, the blogging wagon, the healthy eating wagon, the washing dishes wagon, and a bunch of other wagons I'd rather not share with the internet (although here's a hint: one of them starts with "sh" and ends with "ower").
Maybe it was the fact that I traveled twice during the month and never got really reoriented at home or the fact that the days were mostly cloudy and dreary or that I'm tired of a still somewhat annoying knee pain. Or maybe it was just one of those months.
I was tired and unmotivated and spent an unfortunate amount of time whining. I'd say that I didn't spend enough time writing or making delicious food or hanging out with friends or meditating or any number of things that would've been "good" or "helpful" things to do, but I'm thinking that it's possible I just needed a month to be blah.
April's looking up already. I'm getting out of the house and doing fun things. I'm appreciating the longer days and remembering that there's a non-blah me inside who likes to smile and laugh and engage.
That's the thing I've missed the most in this blah-full month - engaging. I go inside myself when I'm down. I get tired of my own stories. I annoy myself, and then I turn away from others because I'm sure I'm annoying them too. And then at some point (perhaps now?), I realize that I really miss them. I miss people. I miss engaging and connecting. For me, that's one of the best parts about giving - it forces me to engage with other people, even when I'm feeling shy or less-than.
So here's hoping I can hop back on the wagon.
The giving, engaging, connecting, laughing, loving, being, enjoying, smiling, living wagon.
Tell me, what are you looking forward to this April? Are there wagons you're trying to hop back on? Come on - engage with me!